When ordinary truly is extraordinary

Something about Saturday’s record-setting warmth caused me to write this, capturing a moment in time…

It was the kind of day when all seemed right in the world. When a kiss of sunshine awakened her from within.  A winter February day, when instead of cold and snow, sunshine and warmth of 82 degrees flooded both her world and her soul. 

The walk was warm, with no shade in the woods. The stark branches reached heavenward toward the limitless blue sky.  The creek beds ran dry, awaiting the spring rains to quench their banks and flow through their rocky beds.

Her youngest daughter, entering the world 14 years ago this day, brought her own kind of sweetness to the world. The daughter was a reminder to live in the moment, to enjoy the fleeting days of this lifetime. She was one of those souls who didn’t worry, didn’t stress, and like her dad, had a calmness about her that was one of their greatest strengths.

As her daughter walked behind her, chatting with a friend, she held tightly to the hand of the one who had held her heart for the past 26 years.  The conversation carefree, and at times even silent, as they simply had the joy of being together, on this trail, on this journey. Pausing from the busyness of days, to create this ordinary rhythm, that really in all reality was extraordinary, as he had reminded her on their walk the previous weekend.  And as she looked down at the grasp of their hands, her heart was in awe of the extraordinariness of it all.

Then as they walked, a text came, from her daughter behind her, “You guys look so cute” and a photo of the couple walking hand in hand.  It’s blurry, and if she was honest, she hates the weight she’d gained over the past several years.  And yet, the photo, was a gift from her daughter. A reminder that sometimes, the ordinary, even the imperfect, really is the most beautiful extraordinary there is. 

And her heart breathed up a prayer, both thanking God, and asking God to allow their daughters the beauty of their own extraordinary love one day. 

Together

What a summer! What a week! Wish I had captured more of summer in my blog, but obviously (hello, last entry June 17th!), I did not. From celebrating my nephew's graduation, to Morgan becoming a teen, to an amazing swim team season, to our incredible 17 day road trip on the East Coast, to the lazy days of doing crafts and hanging with my girls - it was good.

Road Trip 2014

And this week -- Sarah's half birthday (11 and a half!), Back to School (both girls in Middle School this year!), Our 20th Anniversary, 3 job interviews (what, oh what, do I want to 'do' with my life?!), and family pictures to capture the beauty of this season of our life.

Back to School, 6th & 8th Grade

On Tuesday I broke down sobbing. I mean sobbing for over an hour.  It was a good cry. I need those every now and then.  My heart has been full this week.

25 years ago, Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song called "I will be here" - it's been 'our' song through our dating and marriage years.  And recently, well he wrote a new love song for his wife called 'Together' -- and listening to it again moved me to sobbing tears . You can listen here:


You see, there have been some really dark days in our marriage.  Of grieving, and giving each other space to grieve in their own way, two years into our marriage when Mike's mom and sister were murdered.  To my ongoing struggle with depression, which peaked as postpartum after Sarah was born and I would cry in the morning begging him not to leave for work. We've had our spats and disagreements about needs and wants, about intimacy and finances. We've been selfish. We've definitely had our moments in the past 20 years.

But what we know now in our marriage, in our lives, that we get to share with our beautiful daughters, is JOY! Love, happiness, blessings - these words describe this season of our lives.  And I couldn't be more grateful.  How did we get to this place?

I think Steven Curtis Chapman captures it in this song.

And if it wasn’t for God’s mercy and His grace
There’s no way we would be standing in this place
But because He has been faithful
Every step along the way
Here we are together

It's because God has been faithful, because He has shown us mercy and grace, that we have healed, we have worked through our deepest darkest days and our selfishness.  It's because of Him that we are in this beautiful season of joy...together!  

And for all the days yet to come, whether they bring more joy or more pain, we are thankful that we share it...together.

20 Years!! 

Acadia National Park, Maine (20th Anniversary Getaway)

ps -  if you need some encouragement, I have absolutely LOVED Steven Curtis Chapman's newest album, Glorious Unfolding.  His songs are authentic, real, yet full of hope and beauty. You won't be disappointed if you download it. 

#HappyMarriage

Fall 1991 - First Started Dating
(glad now my sister was photo-snapping crazy!)

19 #hashtags for our #19thAnniversary

(or #19things that help our #marriage be #HappilyEverAfter)

1. #laughtogether
2. #spendtimetogether
3. #trynewthingstogether
4. #flirtoften 
5. #forgiveeasily
6. #shareresponsibilities
7. #touchoften
8. #gotobedatsametime
9. #livedebtfree #exceptmortgage
10. #smalltalk
11. #havemargininourlives #notalwaysbusy 
12. #annualgetaways
13. #doprojectstogether
14. #findwaystofallinloveoverandoveragain
15. #keepGodinthecenter
16. #bowchickawowwow 
17. #complimenteachother
18. #makeeyecontactdaily
19. #smileateachother 

July 2013 - A Day on the River

Anniversary Weekend Getaway
A few of our favorite things!

Anniversary via Instagram

So, tomorrow Mike and I have been married for 18 years. I'm still crazy about him. And he's still crazy about me. And really, marriage doesn't get much better than that!  Darian & Beau kept the girls for the weekend...so Mike and I had a quiet relaxing weekend to ourselves! Need I say more?!

We tried three new (to us) resturaunts in town this weekend - Tasia, Nonna's, and Brair's. (LOVED them ALL!) We rarely eat out, except for Wendy's and Pizza, so this was a real treat! :) We also caught a double feature at the drive-in, went for a walk, stumbled upon a car show downtown, and visited Japanese Stroll Gardens. It was definitely a perfectly beautiful weekend celebrating our love.

Here are some pictures via Instagram...


A Message from our Sweet Girls on our Chalkboard wall.


Relaxing in the Hammock


Happiness in a vase


And here we are 18 years after "I do"

This Fairy Tale Life

I woke up and read a friend's facebook post this morning (she'd posted it late last night), which said, "Happy birthday to my 39 year old hubby...amazing man!", and I was reminded that it was at his birthday party 21 years ago, I first laid eyes on Mike. Oh we were both too shy to actually even speak to each other that night, but I definitely remember giggling with my friends about this 'new cute guy'! He wouldn't ask me out on a date until two months later, the week before he was to leave for college, but well, here we are living some kind of fairy tale life all these years later...

I texted him and told him that if I knew then what I know now, then I would have kissed him right then and there! Ha, ha, I know...I couldn't even bring myself to say hi that night!

Our first year dating.

And here we are last week. 

And lastly, I must say, that I'm kinda sad that we've gone all the way through our Z to A summer already, and today is our last day, "A Day" - but I am happy because that mean's I get to eat Andy's Frozen Custard today! I'd say that's the perfect way to celebrate 21 years of living this fairy tale life with our two princesses!

Weekend Replenishment

A weekend with Mike is just what I needed!! It's amazing how sweet the short time can be and what a replenishment it is for my soul! Between the girls' attitudes lately (that have been pushing my limits of patience) and processing some deeper things going on in my life...I really needed a break away. Glad we put this on the calendar over two months ago!!

Our weekend getaways always include these rules. No computer. No television. and Limited Phone and Clock (on for emergencies and reservations).  For us, those 'rules' help keep us focused on reconnecting and on the important things of life.

I also stock up on Groupon Deals. Getting away for even less is always the best. Our first deal was BOGO night free at Chateau on the Lake...I like the banners lining the drive on the way in.

Then I got the half-price ziplining deal. It was a smaller zipline operation - and now we are both ready to try a bigger one!

Long walks exploring new trails...over three hours of meandering in the woods. Was this really winter...felt more like Spring! (Here's our attempt at balancing camera on a tree branch in the middle of the woods!)

Of course we went to Andy's (twice), and ate at Reeds Spring Pizza (again half price), and caught this sunset at the hotel on our way out to a nice dinner...

And I even talked Mike into a Chic Flick - "The Vow" - of course I cried, so that makes the weekend complete, right?! ;) I'm thankful for all the little moments this weekend I had to just pause and cherish the marriage I share with Mike and the amazing life we get to live!

OH and my quote for the weekend...You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory!

psst - and special thanks to our amazing neighbors who took care of Daisy and for Darian and Beau who always insist on keeping our girls for us! We are so thankful!!

My Valentine: 1992-2012 (& counting!)

Happiness is sharing all these years with the same Valentine! In celebration, here are a few quotes I've enjoyed reading lately...

17th Anniversary Memories

17+3=20

17 years of marriage + 3 years of dating = 20 years of love!!!

Here are 3 songs to help us celebrate! :)

#1 Brad Paisley's, "Then" - it's my newest favorite.
What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more,
But I've said that before. 
We'll look back some day at this moment that we're in,
And I'll look at you and say, 'and I thought I loved you then'...

#2 Martina McBride's "All the Things we've never done" - Discovered this one about 10 years ago and LOVE it!  You have to listen to all of it to fully appreciate it!

#3 Steven Curtis Chapman's "I will be here" - This will always be 'our song' - from our dating years, and has only grown more sweeter as the years go by...

Here are the lyrics: 
Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear, I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear, ‘Cause I will be here.

CHORUS
I will be here when you feel like being quiet;
When you need to speak your mind, I will listen.
And I will be here when the laughter turns to crying;
Through the winning, losing, and trying, we’ll be together,
‘Cause I will be here.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the future is unclear, I will be here.

As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetimes are made for years, So I will be here.

CHORUS
I will be here, so you can cry on my shoulder;
When the mirror tells us we’re older, I will hold you.
And I will be here to watch you grow in beauty,
And tell you all the things you are to me;
I will be here.

I will be true to the promise I have made,
To you and to the One who gave you to me.

As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetimes are made for years,
So I, I will be here.
We'll be together and i will be here.

Our girls...on our marriage

So, I asked the girls tonight, how do you know daddy & I love each other? Here are their responses.

Sarah:
- "Because you guys kiss all the time!"
- "look them in the eyes when talking"
- "by hugging"
- "go away for your anniversary and bring us to Darian's house"

Morgan:
- "you kiss"
- "you say it"
- "you hug"
- "you share money"

I enjoyed hearing their answers and really, we don't kiss that much! Seriously, we still love each other like crazy, and I hope that they always know that deep within their hearts!! Every investment into our relationship thru the years has been so worth it!!

Happy 40th Anniversary!!!

Today my parents celebrate their 40th Wedding Anniversary! 40 years of togetherness...it's a long time!! In fact, I think Sarah's words to my mom (handing her their wedding album) were something like, "Here are the 40 year old pictures, they're really old...just so you know!" :) Here's to wishing them the happiest years yet to come...

Valentine Memories



1992. My 18th Birthday.
Our First Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Banquet - Church Youth Group



Summer 2010. Still friends all these years later.
and both still happily in love.


And if you could see my finger...I'm still wearing the amythest ring Mike gave me that very first valentine's birthday!! This birthday will include: volunteering, lunch with a friend, girl's school valentine parties and dinner out with Mike and the girls. Glad for birthdays and a chance to celebrate this amazing journey called life!!

Weekend Memories

Okay, so we cheated. We did get on the computer this weekend.  But you see, Mike found this old floppy disk that had these letters I had typed on it to him when we were dating, and he found a way to convert them into a word document, so we got to read these fun old letters!  The last letter I wrote on there was five days after he had proposed to me (Jan 13, 1994).

Well the funniest part, was a p.s. on one letter that said "p.s. I'm almost 20!!!" It made me laugh out load as I told him not to worry, I wouldn't be putting no "p.s. I'm almost 37!!!" in any letters to him this year! To which he responded (and is my favorite quote of the weekend) "p.s. You're almost 37 and still hot as ever!!" Oh, for the compliments I don't deserve, but sure make me smile!! :)

Another favorite memory of the weekend was going for a walk at 10pm at night, as the giant snowflakes fell down all around us. Oh the peacefulness of the earth blanketed in white, walking hand in hand with the one I love more than life itself, laughing at our crazy beagle, desperately searching for something to sniff on the snow covered road, and trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues. Simple moments of togetherness.

Taking Time for Us

This weekend will soon include...no tv, no computer, no phone...and NO KIDS!! It's our annual Valentine weekend getaway (a week early!!). And though we've had fun the past 4 snow days at home, I'm REALLY glad my girls will be away this weekend!!

The way Valentine's Day falls this year on the calender, next weekend is going to be for celebrating Sarah's 8th birthday, picking up over 1600 boxes of girl scout cookies and getting them to my troop and delivering ours. It's also getting closer and closer to Darian's due date, so the sooner we 'escape' the better chance we have of being able to still getaway! 

We're trying to save money for both a newer car and our summer vacation to the Grand Canyon, so Mike and I decided to do a staycation this weekend.  There's lots we often want to do in our own town and don't take the time or spend the money to do, so we thought we'd try a staycation and see how it goes!  The whole point is togetherness...taking time for us, spending uninterrupted time together, for investing in our marriage,  for remembering why we fell in love 20 years ago...and I can't wait!!

But first, the reality of cleaning up the house that seems to have exploded from the past four snow days of being at home!

20th Christmas

So, I got to thinking (ok, so my brain never stops thinking!), that this makes the 20th Christmas that Mike and I have shared.  Wow. 

So, that first Christmas, in 1991, I got him a sweater. I loved it. Um yeah, he hates sweaters. It was the last sweater he ever wore or owned since I've known him.  He got me a Mich. State Sweatshirt. I loved it and wore it until I ruined it by leaning into a greasy vent in a plane we were touring. Now I just steal his MSU sweatshirts.  He also got me a Precious Moment figurine. The one with the little boy holding the mistletoe on a fishing pole over the little girl. Awwww. 

We didn't actually spend Christmas day together, as he still travelled with his family to New York until we were married. But I remember before he left, I gave him a card and in the ice on the card were the words "I Love You"! It was the first I had really said those words to him. We had started dating in September (the week before he went away to college and I was in my senior year of HS), and in October he had said "I love you" and I said something like, "you don't love me...you don't even know me!"  And he said, "I love everything I do know about you!" :) Apparently we fell in love pretty quickly!!

Who knew, here we'd be 20 Christmases later, deeply in love after all these years, sharing this amazing life, with two beautiful daughters?!  All I know is that I thank God everyday for the gift of my husband and that "I love you" grows sweeter and sweeter with each passing year we share!

Sweet 16

I have this distinct memory of my 16th birthday. After my parents had celebrated me and showered me with presents, cake and a special birthday dinner, the day came to an end and I remember closing my bedroom door, eating almost an entire bag of candy hearts (after all it was Valentine’s day) and crying until my tears ran dry. Why? Well, ‘cuz I was ‘sweet 16’ and I’d never been kissed! Being so quiet, I barely even talked to guys, let alone had any sort of relationship with one. At that moment I could not envision a future for me that included love. I had dreams of love and happy ever after, but at that moment they seemed beyond my grasp.

Little did I know that I would meet my soul mate, my knight in shiny armor, my husband, just one and a half years after my sweet 16th birthday. We dated for three years and at the ‘mature age’ of 20 (ha!), we got married on August 13, 1994. Today we celebrate sweet 16 years of marriage! And what sweet years they have been!

As I wrote this just now, it came to me, I’ve been having trouble envisioning my future career lately. Oh I have dreams and passions, but I haven’t been able to envision how they will come together – it all seems beyond my grasp. Yet I only see a small piece of life’s puzzle, while there is a God who sees the bigger picture of my life. He has the lid to the puzzle box and each day of my life he keeps putting the pieces together. So for today, I am going to enjoy the journey, and trust that 16 years I will see a bit more clearly the bigger picture of my life.

Thanks Mike for 16 amazing years! I love you deeper and deeper with each passing year.

Better than Dreams....Reality

So if you would have asked me on my wedding day how I'd be celebrating my 15th anniversary...I probably would have answered something like, at a cabin in the mountains, on a cruise ship, at the very least a nice dinner out. So, how did I spend my anniversary?

Well I woke up in our own bed, to Mike snoring at 4 in the morning...think his sinuses are acting up right now. It's a new thing, so I'm hoping its temporary. He left for work at 5:30. Girls brought me breakfast in bed, complete with picked clover flowers from our yard (yes, our yard is more green weeds than grass!). I lingered in bed, played on the laptop....trying to convince myself to get up and face the mountain of laundry from our trip to Michigan. Finally got all 9 loads washed and folded. Mike stopped by the store on the way home to pick up the butter I needed to bake a cake for my meeting the next day, he got home...I realized I was out of oil too...he went back to the store for me...with a willing heart and a smile! Girls came back from playing at friend's house, got on their gymnastics outfits and we stopped by Sonic for dinner...got burgers, coney dogs, tots and coke for our anniversary dinner. Dropped the kids off at gymnastics, went to the park and spent 15 minutes writing letters to each other on our 15th anniversary (no cards, no gifts...just priceless words!). We lingered a bit at the park, dreamed of winning the lotto that we have never in our lives have played...but hey, if we did, we could spend our days volunteering together....did my husband really say that...after 15 years, he really would like to spend every day, all day with ME?! (Is he sure about that?! :)). Picked the girls up, went to Kohls to buy frames for our family pictures, and a new mixer since ours caught fire when I was making the cake earlier. Finished our evening by stopping at Andy's Frozen Custard with the girls...yummy! Got the girls in bed...then cuddled up in bed ourselves. Yes, living the reality of life is sometimes better than the dreams we once made!

My Best Friend

Here are a couple of photos from our Anniversary yesterday. It's fun now that the girls can take pictures.

Half My Life

So, Mike and I started dating when I was 17, and this year I am 34 ...so that makes half my life I've spent with him! Today we celebrate 14 years of marriage! It's great to married to your best friend! I have never even wondered about our love for each other...it's there, it's constant...even thru the challenges of this move. And yet this last week, I was once again struck with the thought, we don't just love each other...we are still in love with each other. That has been a thought that just keeps bringing a smile to my face! :)

We've always taken time for the 2 of us on our anniversary, but this year we decided to celebrate our day with the girls by going to Celebration City in Branson. This is the first time the girls have been to a real amusement park, so we are all looking forward to the day. And next week after the girls start school, we're going to take a day for just the 2 of us! :)