Dreamin' of Another Website

I'm feeling inspired lately. I want to start a website, two actually. So... I've been praying and thinking and trying to decide if either, or both, should be pursued at this time in my life.  So part of this post is me thinking aloud, and part of this is me writing them down so I don't forget them, in case I want to pick them up at a later date. And I'd love any insight/input from those of you who read my words and inspire me! Thank you and big ((hugs)) in advance!!

A Mom's Toolbox
'cuz kids don't come with manuals

This would be a website with practical tools for parents to use every day in the journey of parenting.  I'd like it to be a place where I can reference my book(s)*, offer printables from my etsy shop, bring over some of my ideas from www.thegoodstuffguide.com,and hopefully one day include links to the apps I'd love to create.  I see categories which include resources for young kids, school age, teens, college-age, and marriage too.   I think I could have a lot of fun with the 'toolbox' theme - I like the practicality of it.

A Mosaic Heart
a place to heal when life shatters your heart into a million unrecognizable pieces

I see this as a place to include resources for people who are healing from those really hard places in life. Because when life shatters your heart into a million unrecognizable pieces, it's good to know you are not alone and there are others who have been there, who have struggled, and who are asking really *hard* questions. To be encouraged by others who have found joy after tragedy - those who found a new mosaic heart during the journey of healing.  I have a file of resources I collected on my journey of healing and I'd love to share them and give others hope too!

*On a side note, I actually published my first book (A to Z Summer Fun) at the end of March!! I even got to do a live radio interview about it on KSBJ out of Houston (nation's largest christian radio station) a couple of weeks ago -- I was thrilled when they contacted me out of the blue to share my ideas for families. What an awesome experience (even if my introverted self was super nervous to be on a live station for 40 minutes!).  It was an experience that I will long remember. It felt like a giant hug from God. And I love it when I feel his hugs on earth!

2013: A Look Back at My God Sized Dream

I began 2013 filled with excitement over being part of Holley Gerth's God Sized Dream Team (GSDT)! I had dreams (and still do!) that are deep in my heart!

But the reality is, this past year, this year of dreaming, has been met with a lot of rejection and a lot of dead ends.

• Not getting the job I really wanted which would have allowed me to inspire families and young moms. 
• My story not getting accepted to be part of a book. 
• My pursuit of three various avenues for making and publishing apps all ended with dead ends. 
• The volunteer opportunity I wanted to pursue not working out. 

And it would be easy for me to quit at this point and say, what's the point of dreaming? Nothing ever works out. (Sometimes I can be a bit pessimistic!)

But honestly, I'm still dreaming!

Because here's what I've discovered about dreams this past year -- they take me closer to the heart of God! Because in rejection, I am reminded that He has plans for me -- and this door is not working out because He has something better in store for me.

It's a quiet confidence that He loves me and wants the desires of my heart to become a reality. I'm not sure what that looks like, I can't see the big picture, but He can.

It's Faith -- it's knowing without seeing that the dreams in my heart will one day become reality. The dreams He placed in my heart, are for me, but they are also for others -- for others to also be drawn towards the heart of a father that loves them deeply.

So you see, anything that draws me (and others) closer to the heart of God is worth pursing...and is worth dreaming about!


Today I'm linking up with a new website: www.godsizeddreams.com -- if you are dreaming dreams, this is definitely the place you need to 'hang out' at during this coming year! You will be inspired and encouraged! I 'met' the women who are writing for this website from Holley's GSDT this past year and they are some of the most amazing encouragers I've ever met! They've given me the courage to once again believe and seek out real-life relationships.

The Dream Journey

It's hard to believe this God-Sized Dream Team commitment is coming to an end. Here's the last assignment from Holley: We’ve been walking the path of God-sized dreams together for a few months now. Will you share an update with us about your dream? Let us know where you are with it–the happy and the hard. Tell us how we can pray for you and your dream too. 

Wow, I didn't know what to expect when I signed up (and was actually selected!) to be a part of Holley's team!  What has truly inspired me are all the other women who are authentically pursuing God-sized Dreams that God has placed in their heart.  This community of women has been nothing short of inspiring and motivating to me! It's a beautiful thing! It's one of those 'glimpses of heaven' things.  This team to me has been what the body of Christ should be (and sadly, often is not) -- real, encouraging, uplifting, honest, supportive, faithful.  This journey is one that I will long remember as the years go by.  These women, this team, will give me strength as I journey forward, knowing I am not alone.

So, as Holley asked...an update on my dreams...

Creating Family Friendly Apps -- I haven't completely given up on this dream. I still think some of my ideas would make some fun apps -- so I'm still keeping my ears and eyes open for an opportunity to partner with someone on some app development!  However, what I've discovered on this journey is that the heart (or the why) behind this is that I want to encourage family togetherness. Healthy families can prevent so much heartache, not only now, but later on in life too! Healthy families, families that have fun together, have the power to make a difference in the world! Healthy families are happy families, enjoying their one life well!

This dream journey has reminded me that in many ways I am already living this.  I get to share my family ideas every week through The Good Stuff Guide, which already has a huge audience of readers! Through my own blog, I also get to share my ideas with friends and family.

Another thing this dream journey has shown me is that I want to pursue my dreams in real relationships, in real life, not just with online relationships and unknown people. Though I've met some amazing online people -- I'm wanting to connect in real life more, and I'm asking God what that looks like and where I can inspire and encourage other families (and be encouraged in my own) in real life!

Publishing My Memoir -- The story of my grief and healing. Of murder, of not guilty verdicts, of healing. I want others who are going through similar tragedies to be encouraged by my own journey.  And I've been researching and making a list of several publishers who I am hoping to submit book proposal later this year.  But again, this dream has drawn me to real life. There are grieving people right here in my own community. I am going to start volunteering with Lost and Found Grief Center this summer, and more in depth this fall.

I've also got a children's book idea, I'm hoping to polish up this summer and submit to a publisher or two! And while I treasure moments, and living in the now, there is such value to dreaming, to looking forward -- when God places dreams in our hearts -- we live fully when we are faithful to pursing them! I read a saying awhile back, that went something like this: "Don't you think God smiles when we enjoy the life he gave us?" And sometimes enjoying life means right now, and sometimes it means looking forward.

If you have a dream in your heart, and haven't picked up a copy of Holley's You're Made for A God Sized Dream book -- I encourage you to order a copy today! You won't be disappointed by all the encouragement and hope you'll receive from the words in the pages!

Love Does

Guess What? It's Tuesday, time for Holley's God-Sized Dream Link-up  (and, yes, I'm actually posting my post on said Tuesday, don't faint!)


Today's assignment: Find a way to pay it forward. You’ve been encouraged in your God-sized dreams by your sisters here the last few months. How can you spread that encouragement forward by investing in other dreamers? It can be small and simple or BIG and wild. Ask God what you can do and get creative. Then write a post about what you’re doing and link it up below.

I did find a way to pay-it-forward, but I am going to keep it private, and  instead, share with you a story from my past.

<< Rewind to 1994 <<

We had been married not even four months. I was working what temp jobs I could find, while Mike took classes at Michigan State and worked part-time in the dorm cafeteria. Good times.

Rewind just a bit more: Two weeks before our wedding, I wrecked our car -- late at night, country road, county had just put down loose gravel, I went too fast around the curve and came face to face with a tree.  I was fine. The car was not. We used most of our wedding money to fix our car.

Then, a couple of months later, we were rear-ended in a hit and run.  Thankfully we were again okay, and the car was still driveable. It looked horrible, but we drove it for 3 more years with a smashed back end that needed a screwdriver to pop the trunk.

Then just weeks after the hit and run our transmission went out.  I remember taking our car to the shop, and having to walk back to campus -- it was a good 2-3 mile walk on a brisk sunny day.  And I remember the tears and wondering how in the world we were going to pay for this.  Love is good, but it doesn't pay the bills.

Later that week, in the mail, we got a large check from some good friends.  They were by no means wealthy -- they were a few years older than us, raising two kids, serving in ministry. But they reached deep into their hearts, and generously shared their money with us to meet a very real need in our lives. It was then and there that Mike and I knew we would pay-forward this act of kindness to others when we were able to later in life.

One small deed of encouragement (love in action) has the power to alter the course of one's life. That is the truth we experienced.

And writing this just now, reminds me that we got to hear Bob Goff at church a few weeks ago, and I need to get his book, Love Does from the library! If I ever get to be as wealthy as him, I hope I use my money to change lives like he does, but I will also not let my lack of wealth keep me from doing good now with what I have been given.  I'm glad God gives us others, to encourage us, while we pursue the dreams He places in our hearts!

If you've never heard Bob Goff, check out this short you-tube video (this guy put his personal cell phone number in the back of his book for readers and tries to answer every call he receives!):

Friends who Inspire Faith

Yes, I know it's Friday and I'm just now linking up with Holley's God-Sized Dream Team Link up from Tuesday! This week's assignment: Write a letter of encouragement to another dreamer in your life. Share your letter by including it in a post and linking up below.

Last month, I actually sent out a few of these letters of encouragement in snail-mail. I didn't want to repeat myself, so I've been pondering this for many days.  The last few nights I've been awake in the middle of the night and found myself praying for several friends in my life.  Through those prayers I was inspired to write this letter to three of them.

You see, these friends, have all taken huge leaps of faith this past year, trusting in God. Let me give you a 'snapshot' of each.

Lisa: I've met her through Holley's God-Sized Dream team, and she writes a beautiful blog called Life After The Shore -- and it talks about her journey leaving the only life she ever knew, and beginning again.  As a teen, her parents joined a cult, but she & her husband heard God's voice saying, 'walk away, I have bigger plans for you!' and so they did! You can read here story here.

Janelle: I met her just over a year ago. She was over the children's ministry at our church campus in Nixa.  I love her genuineness, her ability to organize, encourage and inspire.  But here's the thing. She and her husband have felt this calling to go and plant a new church. Not just anywhere, but in Las Vegas. So with a toddler, and without jobs, they stepped out in faith, moved back to Nevada to live with family for a few months, as they pursue this dream in their hearts to share God's love with the broken souls in Las Vegas.

Angela: When I met Angela, she was leading a study on Jill Savages's book, Professionalizing Motherhood.  Our kids were drinking bottles, now they are in middle school.  She has been a dear friend though the years. We still text regularly.  She has a heart for other cultures. And right now that heart means pursuing her doctorate degree in order to pursue the dreams God has placed in her heart.  This meant her and her husband left good paying, stable careers, to move half-way across the country, believing that God would provide, as they stepped out in faith.

Dear Lisa, Janelle, and Angela -

Do you know how many times your faith inspires me?  Often it convicts me.  I want security. I want to have some control over my future (as if that's possible, but still I try!). I want to have 'comforts' (often financial), before I pursue dreams.  I may hear God whispering, or even waving his arms loud trying to get my attention, and so often, I make excuses. I don't have that faith that you have.  And yet, I find myself praying to God, asking Him to help me find a faith like yours.

I know each one of your journeys has not been easy. It has not always been full of things going the way you hoped they would. It has meant sacrifice in many ways. Oh, there has been times when God has answered prayers 'yes'! and times when He said "no" or "wait" -- and there you stand with this dream in your heart, wondering, longing to see it be reality, teetering on that edge of faith, clinging at the same time, to the dream, to the Dream-Giver.

How beautiful this world is because of people like you who truly live out their faith. Not without fear, but with confidence in the One who placed these dreams in your heart. Your faith, in knowing He will provide, is beautiful and inspiring. I know that many lives are and will be touched with His love because of the brave choices you have made.

Please know that I pray for each of you -- for strength when the way gets hard, for God to show up in a big way and meet your needs, for your dreams to become reality, for your families, for your hearts to be encouraged by Him.

I'm glad God let our paths cross. My life has been forever touched by you.

With love and admiration,

Cathy

A Hug from God

To be honest, I've felt some guilt that I've been M.I.A. from Holley Gerth's Tuesday link-ups about God-Sized Dreams the past several weeks.  I made the commitment to do this, and then I haven't.  But I have to give myself grace. I have been struggling with depression. I have been trying to get to a healthier place. I've tried to sit down and write some Tuesday posts, but I just couldn't make them happen.

Well, I took her challenge this week, The most important part of any God-sized dream is the Giver of it. Set aside a particular time this week to be with Him–to pray, journal, take a walk or simply sit quietly and listen. Write a post sharing what your heart hears or receives.

So last night, I sat among the treetops, quietly on my deck. It was gray and a bit dreary out, but the air felt warm, and the birds were singing.

I read some more of Holley's book first, and had my notebook to jot in. And I read this, "so that His voice is louder than anything else"...and I prayed, "Lord, I want your voice to be louder than anything else right now. Louder than anything."

And then this song came to my mind, Remind Me Who I Am by Jason Gray. And so I prayed the words to the song, "Lord, remind me who I am. Who I am to you. If I'm your beloved, can you help me believe it?"

And my spirit remembered, He loves me. He gave me these dreams. The same power that raised Jesus from the grave is still alive and active in our world. And His Spirit resides inside of me.   I also read these words from Holley's book. "Truth reminds us who we are." Then she writes more (I changed her 'you are' to 'I am')  "I am loved. I have a purpose. I am not alone. I am stronger than I know."

And as I stared up at the Heavens, the sky above me became blue, and I couldn't help but smile. That blueness above me, while all around me was still grey, felt like a hug from God. And I smiled out-loud, while whispering up "thanks."

JOY: The reasons I want to pursue my God-Sized Dreams

Well I wanted to do this linkup with Holley Gerth on Tuesday, but as you can see I'm running a little bit behind.  Life's just like that at times and I'm reminded to give myself grace. The last two weeks have included Spring Break, my parent's visit from Michigan, Mike's 40th, and a cruise to Cozumel and back. Fun, fun times. I will write more on all that later, right now I want to focus on the linkup.

Holley's linkup is about what brings you joy, especially as it relates to your God-sized dream. You can read so many other encouraging stories by clicking on over here. But my 'joy'...

My first God-sized Dream involves encouraging Family Togetherness.  More laughter, more time interacting, more relationship building  -- continuing to do this in my family, and inspiring other families to do the same.  I'd love to do this through developing some apps, but financially, I'm not sure that is in the near future.  So behind the scenes, I've been asking, how else can I do this?  But Holley's question gets to the heart, why do I want to do this?

Why? Because when I hear that my ideas inspire other families, encourage happiness and promote familes to spend time together -- well it just puts a literal smile on my face! I believe that healthy families are the heart and soul of our society - and yet I see so much brokenness in families in our society. That brokenness makes my heart ache. And sometimes even makes me angry - as in, I want to do something to change this.

I've noticed that I've found various ways to do this throughout my life -- through my brief career as a social worker, mentoring a teen mom, writing newsletters that inspire family togetherness, through sharing of ideas through my own blog, and this past year - writing for The Good Stuff Guide. My ideas add happiness to my own family, and I admit, it brings me joy when I see them 'liked' and 'repinned' and replicated -- because I hope that they are bringing joy to that family too!

My second God-sized Dream involves possibly publishing my story of healing and knowing joy again, as it relates to the dark journey I had to take with the murder of Mike's mom and sister and the injustice of the trial that followed.  Why does this bring me joy? Through this tragedy and journey I have had to take -- I have discovered joy again, something I didn't know if I'd ever feel again.  And I know others who are in these dark places wonder the same thing.  And it brings me joy knowing that I might be able to encourage them to keep on walking on down their dark path, that perhaps my story may offer them hope to take one more step. Perhaps God can use my story to help them heal, to move on, and to know joy again. This is joy giving to me. This is why I want to pursue this dream.

Also, since I'm speaking on joy, I have to mention, I'm reading an amazing book right now by Kay Warren, called Choosing Joy. Oh, so, so good! I will have to do a separate post on that book too! (Oh, so much I want to write, so little time!)

"You're Made for A God-Sized Dream"

  

If you have a dream in your heart - I HIGHLY recommend this book, "You're Made for A God-Sized Dream" by Holley Gerth!! It is like eating a decadent dessert you don't really want to finish -- I sit down to read several chapters - and I have to stop because the truth, the encouragement, the practical exercises, the beauty of her words causes my soul to simply pause, reflect and soak it all in. Her book is giving me momentum and so much encouragement towards my dreams! You won't be disappointed! :) I think I have dog-eared and highlighted more pages in this book than not! Oh, and warning - you will find yourself smiling to yourself as you read this book - it's like a hug from your BFF! I'm so glad I was able to get an advanced copy!

Inspiration (for God-Sized Dreamers)

It's Tuesday! Time to link up with others over at Holley Gerth's Site for a little God-Sized Dreaming. I'm excited about today's linkup that was to Find a God-sized dream story that inspires you and share it. I can't wait to read all these beautiful stories today!

I remembered hearing this story on the news, Homeless to Harvard. I hope you take 2 minutes to watch it.  To dream of attending an ivy league school and overcoming incredible odds to make it a reality! I hope she's loving the reality of her dream right now! She inspires me. 

Psst - if you're dreaming a God-Sized Dream, check out Holley's new book that is releasing in just a few days! I got an advanced copy and let me tell you, it's like eating a decadent dessert you don't really want to finish 'cuz it's soo good (I'm thinking cheesecake factory here!).

Stop Delaying

It's Tuesday...time to join my other dreamin' friends over at Holley Gerth's site for today's linkup. Today's topic: What I'm gonna stop delaying and start doing so I can be ready for what is ahead for me.


Even as I sit down now to write this, I'm not really sure what I'm going to say. I've been contemplating this all week long and nothing in particular has jumped out at me! Hmmm.

The thing I've been focusing on this month is becoming healthier - physically, emotionally, relationally  I think if I can stop delaying my 'health', then I will be in a better place to pursue my dreams and be ready for what is ahead.

Physically, I've been trying to add some exercise back into my life. In particular, some extra stretches for my arms and shoulders which have been causing me quite a bit of pain from stress and tension. Being at the computer adds to the tension. The tension leads to quite a bit of headaches.  I'm noticing improvement with daily stretching and exercising, so I'm trying to be faithful in this area.

Emotionally, I struggle with depression. I hate this. I look at my life and think, "there is nothing that should depress me." seriously. And yet, I've struggled off and on with it for years. So I finally broke down (okay, literally crying in the doctors office! geez.) and talked with the doctor about it. We are exploring options. I know my depressive state often keeps me from having the motivation to pursue my dreams. So I'm being brave and doing my best to figure out a way to 'deal with' and 'heal' from whatever is causing this.

Relationally, I don't want to pursue these dreams in isolation.  I've discussed it before in depth on my blog, but deep, in real life, friendship have been hard to develop since our move 4.5 years ago.  But I've decided I'm not giving up. I'm actually joining a bible study this week with some other amazing gals. I've never met them, but I'm hopeful that we will connect 'deeply' and develop some life-giving, life-sustaining friendships.  Several of my closest friends today are gals I met in similar settings. (just wish they didn't live hours away!)

Well after just helping my daughter for the past 3 hours finish up her timeline project on China's Dynasties, my brain is mush. (And what began with her throwing her pencil across the room, ended with a hug and apology - so perhaps I did something right tonight.)  I'm not even sure all this makes sense, but I'm calling it a wrap!

My Smartphone and Me

Posting a day late, due to travel...oh well. It's another Tuesday to link up with Holley Gerth as we pursue God-sized Dreams! Today's topic - what do I need to say 'no' to in order to say 'yes' to my dreams?

This morning, I should be waking up somewhere in the middle of the ocean. I had been planning to be squeezing in all the fun my girls want to try and tackle! And eating more ice cream than any one person should in a day! But instead I'm driving 700 miles back home.  And you know one thing I was really looking forward to on that cruise? That my phone wouldn't work way out there on the ocean.  And that makes me step back and wonder.

Smartphones are an amazing invention. Truly. The world at my fingertips - along with my music, phone, calendar, camera, pictures, endless entertainment apps - it truly is amazing. But sometimes it's hard to put down. To walk away from. The truth is, it steals a lot of my joy.  A lot of my time.  (And, yes, this is hard to commit to words right now.)   So when Holley asked, "what do you need to give up or say 'no' to, so that you have more time for you God-sized dream?" - I knew instantly, even as I didn't want to admit it, that I need to say 'no' to being on my phone so often and 'yes' to so many other things in my life.  This has been out of balance and I need to change it.  I was hoping a week away from my phone would jumpstart my endeavors to change this bad habit I've fallen into, but I guess I'll just have to use my own willpower!  After all, I really want to say yes to so many other things!!

Here's two articles I've recently read that spoke on this same thing: "Is technology stealing our human moments?" and "How to Miss a Childhood".

Sharing the God-Sized Dream Journey

So, this past week, we were suppose to ask a friend to be a God-sized Dream buddy.  Well, being a part of Holley's God-Sized Dream Team, she had a match-up of sorts to find new buddies.  And I'm very excited about this!! So now I have two new online friendships...sharing the journey with others! Love it!

And they are absolutely beautiful people...inside and out...just check out their blogs and you'll see what I mean!

This is Lisa, she writes over at Life After the Shore.
I'm excited to watch her family grow because
she has big God-sized dreams of being able to adopt!
(and I already admire her faith living out luke 5:11!) 

This is Mel, and she writes over at Barefoot Mel.
And I can't wait to read the book she's writing...a collection of stories
about the 5 years she spent in Indonesia!
(and her writing just makes me want to read more!) 

I love the way the internet has the ability to connect souls! To meet other people who are truly amazing!

And while I didn't personally ask any of my already amazing friends to be my buddy too...it's because I already have several who consistently encourage me towards my dream...and I love them for that! (You know who you are -- so THANK YOU!!)

So, who is encouraging you in your dreams?
If you need someone, I'd love to be that someone! :)

Big Dreams: Small Steps

Like I mentioned last Tuesday, every Tuesday I'm linking up with Holley Gerth about God-sized Dreams for the next six months.  So this week, we're suppose to write about small steps we've taken towards our dreams. The smaller, the better. So...here they are.

Dream No. 1: Have my ideas made into family friendly apps.  Steps:

1. Called a friend who knows something about app development. Got some great (and overwhelming) ideas from him on things to think about and consider.  
2. Researched college courses about app development at two local colleges...not finding much. 
3. Checked into professional app development options.
4. (Okay, this isn't productive...just reality.) I cried. I.am.in.over.my.head. Honestly, I want to give up already. How pathetic is that?!  And yet, I can't.  My dream bubbling up in me won't let me quit.  I'm just stuck. I MUST think of a next step.  One baby step at a time...right?

Dream No. 2: Use my story/journey of healing to encourage others (currently, pursue publishing memoir) Steps.

1. I wrote a query letter to a literary agent a year ago. Yes, an entire year ago. And it has sat in my computer since then. So I reopened it. Tweaked it. Made sure it included everything she was looking for.
2. I checked and made sure she was still 'looking for' memoirs. 
3. I reread through my memoir and made some more revisions. 
4. Then, maybe. just maybe. before I could chicken out, (again!), I just put it all in an email and hit the 'send' button. Then I held my breath. And I closed my eyes and pictured myself placing the whole thing in God's hands.  If this God-sized dream is really from Him, then He will make a way for it to happen.  I just have to take one step of faith after another. 
5. I entered a contest to win free publication of my book. 
6. I've been reading more on building a platform (ie, an audience).  I've been thinking of this since late fall, and I've been trying to be more intentional.  For example, I'm actually trying to use twitter. I don't really like it. at all. but I'm trying to find the benefits.  And I'm trying to grow my platform.  I've gone from no followers to 50 in about 2-3 months.  Gotta start somewhere, right?   
7. Also, in regards to platform, I've also added 'followers' on the side of my blog.  I find this embarrassing  Only 6 followers. Yes.  But my blog has always been personal, for family, for friends.  They just follow it and comment through my FB posts. I've never cared about followers.  Yet, this building a platform/audience seems like a big deal in the publishing world these days. And it makes since. So, I'm trying to add 'official' followers.  And to all of you who have followed and read my blog for years...thanks (and if you want to become and official 'follower' - just follow along in the sidebar!)

So, there's my small steps from the past couple of weeks.  Small beginnings. I hope you've had the courage too to take small steps have you taken towards your God-sized dreams! Together, we can do this!

Love this I found over at Home Sanctuary blog.

Dreams to Reality

Several years ago I read this blog post by Jill Savage called, Are you a Dream-Maker or a Dream-Taker? It echoes in my parenting decisions everyday.  You see, if I'm not careful, I can easily be a dream-taker.  But I'm conscious of this, and I fight to be a dream-maker for my girls.  But when in comes to me...well when it comes to my own dreams, honestly, I am more of a dream-taker. A realist. Why dream - it's not gonna happen. Why dream - it's ridiculous to think I'm gonna be an author. Why dream - it's a needle in a haystack chance of it ever happening.  Why dream?!

But here's the thing.  These dreams have been deep in my soul. They are bubbling near the surface.  I've tried to express it through my writing at various times: Simmering Dreams and The Dream Seed. So it's time to start making my dreams happen.  I love how Holley Gerth's new book, "Do What You Can" Plan is reminding me that it is all about small steps. Obedience in small tasks. I.can.do.this.  And it also takes faith. Believing God will take my obedience and weave it into a bigger story, that is far greater than even my own journey.

I'm part of Holley Gerth's God-Sized Dream Team (EEEK!), so once a week for the next six months, I'll be writing on here on Tuesdays about my dreams. Holley has invited 100 of us to be part of this team, inspiring each other, (and all of you!) towards the dreams God has placed in our hearts. I'm excited about the accountability this opportunity provides. Excited about the networking that is already happening with so many amazing women also pursuing their own dreams behind the scenes. It's beautiful.

So, for today, here are two dreams just are bubbling up in me...

Dream No. 1: There are lots of fun ideas that I have done with the girls over the years, and I'm still doing with them - that I think would make some really fun phone apps for other families to enjoy!  I think the more family togetherness we can create,- more laughter, talking, playing together we can do in our families - the stronger (and sweeter) they are.   Needless to say, I'm in over my head in this app development thing...but I'm taking small steps to explore options and seeing where God takes this.

Dream No. 2: I wrote a memoir. My story of tragedy. of pain. of my heart being broken into a million unrecognizable pieces.  Of my journey of healing. of discovering grace. of hope. of joy again. I wrote the story for my girls, but sometimes I feel like maybe other victim's families, on their journey of grieving/healing, might be encouraged by my words too.

It's kinda hard to write that down. What if I fail? But what if I never try? Oh, perhaps the real journey through all of this is giving myself permission to be a dream-maker!

psst - one small step - the sidebar on my blog has always said, "And... I wonder if I'll figure out what I want to do when I grow up, but try to enjoy the journey and cherish the moments along the way." But last week, I changed it to read the following, "I'm cherishing the moments of life's journey, while pursing my God-given dreams to write, share and publish my ideas." 

Quietness (and 'Otherness')

I love my family. Giggly girls. Flirting husband. Clanging dishes around the dinner table. Arguing sisters (which I'm certain is really love in disguise.) Neighborhood girls hanging out.

BUT tonight, spur of the moment, Mike decided to take the girls into town to shop for my Christmas present! And I think my heart smiled a little bit a whole bunch at that news, because that means I don't have to worry about a dinner I didn't have planned, AND I get an evening of quiet at my home sweet home!!! woohoo! So right now, Daisy is snuggled up next to me and all I hear are the clicks of my keyboard.  I know my soul is one that NEEDS quiet. It's where I find replenishment. YET, in this season of my life, it is something that I usually don't make a priority.  HMMM, I wonder why that is.  I might have to ponder this more and remedy it.

So a few things in my world lately...

• Being a substitute teacher in kindergarten LOTS, means I get lots of sweet pictures from kids.  Usually, I smile and thank them and compliment their work. I take their picture home and just toss them (I mean I can barely keep up with all my own girls work!) But I got one today that I think I will hang on my refrigerator for awhile. It says "I'm sorry for being goofy."  I've been in this class quite a bit this year.  You just know that this kid has a rough home life. I don't know all the details, but you see it in his eyes, feel it in his actions, experience it in responses. I just felt that I need to spend some time praying for him...and this picture will remind me to pause and do just that.  I wish all children had the opportunity to experience a childhood dreams are made of, but the reality is that many do not. 

• Last night, we had a very special dinner guest.  After years of Darian watching my kids for long weekends, I finally get to return the favor! What joy it was to have a little one hanging at our house last night! We all enjoyed our 'Henry time' and hope we can do it again real soon! (Pretty Please, Darian!)

• I have an amazing opportunity coming up!  Holley Gerth is an author of several books encouraging women (www.holleygerth.com). She has started a 'God-sized Dream Team' - and I'm on it! The FB group was set up this week. 100 women, pursuing dreams, together. Not just any dreams, God-sized dreams. The FB group has a coffee-shop, sit-around-and talk kinda feel - I've so enjoyed what I've read on there in just the past couple of days! There are some amazing women on there, who I am looking forward to getting to know better over the next several months! Accountability. Friendship. Authenticity. Oh, it's gonna be good. 

• I've been kinda quiet on my own blog lately because I've had some very time consuming articles I've written over at www.thegoodstuffguide.com -- several giveaways for fun Christmas presents -- check it out if you haven't yet! I wrote the stocking stuffer article and the tween gift guide.  They were fun articles to write, but time consuming!  More giveaways coming too! :) 

Simmering Dreams

Yesterday, during a break, I scribbled this on a piece of paper.  A LOT has happened in the past few weeks that makes me feel alive with possibility. God, loving me, reminding me that He placed this dream in my heart. This past month this simple verse keeps repeating in my head, "Be still. And know that I am God."

Sometimes dreams simmer a long time. You put them on the back burner. Let the sit. And simmer. And simmer some more. You know it's not an accident that this dream was started. And yet you wonder, has the chef forgotten? Did he change his mind? You want to believe that he's waiting for the perfect time. But time passes slowly. very slowly. simmering. 

And then one day, without you even realizing it, the heats been turned up. Way up. You swell with possibility. You bubble with hope. And you worry about the intensity of the heat. Will it be too much? You worry, will the chef change his mind again? Will he set you on the back burner again - or is this your time? The time for your dream to stop simmering, to begin cooking, to become something more -- the main dish perhaps -- for others to find nourishment from? That is after-all why you want this dream to stop simmering, why you want it to become more that just a dream -- so others can benefit from this dream. Only the chef sees the bigger picture. Your dreams are but a glimpse into the feast he has in store!