And I'm writing again...

(This is just a draft, but I made it a priority to sit down and write this morning and I wanted to capture it here on my blog!) 

I knew the risk I was taking. I knew I might not make it back home. 9:59…9:58…9:57… But for me it was worth the risk. A chance to see the world in a whole new perspective. The chance to soar where no one has before. Really, this is the only way to live this one and only life. YOLO the younger generations say. 9:06…9:05…9:04… I’ve not merely existed on this journey around the sun, I’ve made the most of it. I have no regrets for choosing this trip.  Yet still, this isn’t how I thought my final moments of this voyage would end. Utterly alone. With only my thoughts. 8:34…8:33…8:32… Who knew I would be the one who would get to take these adventures. Who knew I would be on my own at the end, counting down the moments.  My mind is racing back through time, through the days of my life. Too many memories to sort through them all.  7:23…7:22…7:21… But here, floating among the stars, engulfed in the vastness of them all, watching earth from a distance, balanced in a galaxy of blackness, I am captivated by it all.  If we get glimpses of heaven, this must be it. And I’m closer than I’d like to think…to heaven, that is.  I thought I’d be going back to earth, but here I am suspended in space and time, watching my oxygen tank empty out faster than I want. Please, slow down time. Every breath counts right now.  These are my final moments. 5:42…5:41…5:40… I’m closer to heaven than to earth. And I have a strange peace about that. To know that soon this blackness of the galaxy will be replaced with brightness of the Lord himself. That the coldness of this environment will soon transform into an eternal warmth. Like that of a perfect spring day. 4:10…4:09…4:08… That those who have traveled before me, are ‘home’ waiting for me to walk beside the crystal sea with them.  On earth, I got glimpses of the crystal sea, when my children would say, “Look at the sprinkles on the water!” They loved how the sun reflected off the water, sparkling a million tiny sparkles for our enjoyment. What joy I will soon experience for all eternity. 3:17…3:16…3:15 Yet, at the same time, my heart grieves. It grieves for those left on earth. I wish I had a chance to say goodbye. That I could say ‘see you later’. I wish that tears and pain wouldn’t fill their upcoming days.  I pray now that they will have peace. That their memories will be their strength. May they be inspired to live their lives well. To finish strong the journey that lies ahead of them.  2:21…2:20…2:19… More time. I want more time.  But really, is there ever enough time to experience it all? Our days our numbered. For me, my minutes are numbered. And here, at the end, the only time that matters, is the time I already spent to love, and to live, and to give, on this journey.  Those are the moments that mattered. Those are the moments that mean something here at the end. 0:60…0:59…0:58… What does one think during the last minute he has oxygen?  I shall think of Jesus. Of his open arms waiting me. I’m grateful he became the bridge between me and God on that cross, that he gave himself as a gift for me to choose. I have followed him, and with faith and hope, I rest in knowing that these last breaths are not the end of the journey, but only the beginning. 0:03…0:02…0:01…

(I asked the girls to give me something to write about...inspiration...Morgan said, write about being an astronaut in space and you only have 10 minutes of oxygen left in your tank).

Now on to work on the 61 etsy items I've had ordered in the past 4 days! :) 

My EEEK moment!

So, it all began last week, when I'm glancing through my facebook posts and I see a 'request' of sorts from the Springfield News-Leader. They are starting a new outdoor section, 'GO: Get Outdoors' and looking for articles or essays for it.  Instantly I think of these random thoughts I jotted in some notebook, last Spring, while on a visit to Roaring River State Park and know it's perfect for this! :) So, I literally spent an hour looking for every 3-ring notebook I've ever scribbled anything in - apparently I have this bad habit of not writing my stuff in one nice little journal - oh no, I have to scribble it wherever, whenever I feel inspired! But I digress, I finally find these scribbled notes in one of the journals! So I type them up, revise them a bit, and click 'send' to the editor at 10pm! 


And the next morning, I get an email saying "Cathy, this is great. I'm sure I will use it – maybe for our first one!" -- thus, I let out my first EEK! They like it! They are going to use it! Okay, I know it's just the newspaper, not a publishing company - but to me, it's big. Someone else (besides just friends and family) likes my writing! This makes me smile. And I wonder all week, will they really put it in the paper? (Yay, I lack a bit of confidence! In fact, Mike even said to me something like, "I'm glad they like it - maybe this will give you the confidence you need!") 

So I woke up this morning, half asleep, checked email, FB on my phone -the usual. Then I bolted upright! The article - I almost forgot the article! I ran to get my laptop (literally!) and dared to look - and sure enough, they did publish it! Thus, my 2nd EEK!!  

Here's the article if you'd like to read it: The Treasure of Roaring River State Park.

I then woke up the girls and told them about it - they smiled big for me (awww!) - and then they were mad at me when I told them their picture was in the paper. But I told them to hurry and get ready so we could stop and buy a paper on the way to school. Then we get to school - and Morgan is like, "Can I show my teacher I'm in the paper?" I'm like, "I thought you were mad you were in the paper?" Morgan, "I am, but I still want her to see!" (She's a bit like me, never wanting the spotlight!)  It also made me smile that Sarah wanted to take the time to read the article in it's entirety.

And it has inspired me a bit. I've wrote a couple more articles this week. I've typed up some letters to editors, and polished up a few drafts to send off to some publishers. Now I just need to find some time to finalize them and send them off!

My writing may never be famous - but I hope that it will encourage as many lives and God needs it to on this brief journey of life I get to live! That it makes people smile, think about God, and encourages them to live deeper, fuller lives.

Pure Randomness

I was just looking at my girls this past weekend. Staring at them really. In awe of the beautiful people who were sitting on the other side of the window. I couldn't help but think about how I could still see the little babies I use to hold in my arms, and all the while I could also see the women they will one day become. What a journey to experience! I love my sweet life I get to share alongside Mike being a part of their growing up!

Oh the things I do for my daughter. I am running again. Not because I want to. At all. But she wants me to. She wants to run the 5k race with me. So here I am trying to get in shape...again. If only I'd stay in shape and stop quitting, it would be so much easier. I need some accountability here. I'm glad she wants to do it with me, and that she is motivating me to get back in shape again. It's feeling good.

April Fool's Day was yesterday. We put colored Easter egg dye tablets in the faucet of their bathroom and the kitchen sink. At first Morgan was worried...and I played along, "I'll have dad come look at it as soon as he's out of the shower!" Then she remembered it was April Fool's Day - so she convinced herself that the city was playing an April Fool's Trick on us by changing our water colors...hilarious! :) Oh and the girls helped make some french fries (out of sugar cookie dough) for our friends who came over Sunday evening - we tricked a few of the littler kids with the fries! :) (I might add a picture on Wednesday when I have more time to upload them!)

I've set a personal goal of submitting a few of my ideas to publishers by the end of the school year. And there's only 34 more days of school left! I never know unless I try! So I may as well go for it! What do I have to lose? A little time, a few stamps. And what do I have to gain? The hope of encouraging others with my words...yep, definitely going for it!