Bed Sweet Bed

After 3 weeks we were all finally able to sleep in our own beds last night!! So even though our new house doesn't quite feel like home sweet home yet, it was great last night to be in my bed sweet bed! :)

I received an email from a family who are missionaries in Ecuador (I met them when they were foster parents when I was a caseworker in Columbia). Debbie was reflecting on the transitions happening in their lives with both their ministry and their own kids growing up. I was moved to tears by what she wrote, because I felt the truth of it, and wanted to share it. She wrote:

Yes, life is full of transition. Yet I pray that you and I remember and respond to this - No matter where we are today, whether it is in a place of great joy or overwhelming pain, God knows where we are. His hand is there to guide, His strength to sustain, His presence inescapable.

Isn't it great how God uses others to encourage us? It was what I needed to hear this morning.

I am planning to mail out our new contact info to everyone soon. We just got our internet hooked back up today. Today I am thankful for the morning walk I had with Morgan, that Sarah wants to have cuddle time with me every day, for fuzzy socks from my mom, for crushed ice, for Mike's smile, and of course for a place to call home once again!

Where will we sleep 2nite?

We're heading to Springfield in a couple of hours and we have no clue where we'll sleep tonight. We will know by noon today if we can close on our new house at 3pm today and the latest we'll close is 3pm next Tuesday. For someone who likes prediction and planning in their life...these past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me. But this time of transition is soon coming to end and I am thankful for that. I wish I was someone who could live in the moment, go with the flow, embrace the adventure of the unknown...but I'm not. Perhaps Mike and Sarah will continue to teach Morgan and I about living in the moment as we go thru life, so we can have a bit more balance! However, I also know that I will always have a "bent" towards those things that are predictable and that I can plan, because that is who I am, and there's strengths in that, as well. But for today I will do my best to live in the moment and enjoy the adventure of not knowing where I'll sleep tonight! :)

Home & Friends

Home is the nicest word there is. Laura Ingalls Wilder

That is a quote that I use to have on my wall of sayings, and was one of Morgan's favorite's sayings. In this transition of not really having a home...this quote has found more and more meaning for me. Home is a beautiful place. We still have no close date for our new home, so we continue to be in limbo. We are back in Jeff City staying with good friends for a few days. The girls had a slumber party up in their friends rooms last night, it was so cute listening to them giggle in there!

During our trip to Michigan I had the opportunity to connect with a few people I haven't seen in awhile. While our time together was short, I was reminded of what made each one of them special to me over the years. The core of who they are shown thru and made me appreciate once again the depth they have added to my life over the years. I have been blessed with some beautiful relationships during this journey called life!

Update from Michigan

Some things in life go smoothly...others do not. The purchase of our new home is one of those things has not gone smoothly. The house we are buying is a foreclosure...and there is a debate going on as to who actually owns the house at the moment. Therefore, until the title company can resolve this, we are in limbo. I think everything feels more intense because yesterday we successfully sold our previous home...so in a sense, we are a homeless family (ha, ha!). We are thankful everything did go smoothly on the sale of our house, just anxious to move into our new one.

Full House

The girls are still sleeping, and as I enjoy this quiet morning before the day is filled with squeals, laughter, and bouncing off the wall girls, I couldn't help but think about how full my house is. It's quite strange really, since the movers took most all our "stuff" to storage yesterday. But yet, it is full of all that is important to me. I am a wife and a mom. I have precious friendships with friends and family. How lucky am I? It's not really all our stuff that makes life...it is those around us that make life. And I have the memories. These walls are filled with memories. And besides friendships, it's probably what I will miss the most...the memories this house reminds me of. Lots of firsts here...first steps, first days of preschool, then school, first lost tooth, first pets. And yet our next house will be full of great memories as well. So as the unknown future stretches before me, I encounter a strange peace...God's spirit reminding me that I am never alone. He is always with me and He's surrounded me with many others to share life with. And He will continue to do the same. If not lucky, well then, I am certainly blessed!

Not Homeless

Well we finally got word from the bank and we will not be homeless! Here's a picture of our new home in Republic, MO. :) It's on 1 1/2 acres in a neighborhood with good schools. We don't have a close date yet, but we'll definitely be there by July 16th. And this Aquatic Center is only 2 miles from our new home...I think we'll spend lots of time there this summer! The movers are loading the truck today. We're camping out a few days here then heading to Michigan for awhile. Oh yah, Morgan was upset when the moving truck arrived, she told the neighbor "I was hoping they wouldn't come!".

One More Goodbye

Today has been an awful day. I won't go into all the details...but let's just say it started with a flood in the basement and most of my scrapbook materials waterlogged. But this evening was the saddest when we had just one more unexpected goodbye. Sarah's hamster died. She literally sobbed uncontrollably for 1 1/2 hours until she was almost asleep. We all cried. We buried him in the backyard and made a cross for him. It's hard to say goodbye to your first pet. And then all the emotions of the move on top of it. It was a difficult evening.

I think the movers are coming Monday. We placed an offer on a house and hope to hear back tomorrow. Life is crazy, chaotic and I'm exhausted. But I continue to be thankful that I have Mike and the girls to share this journey with!

Dance Recital

"In Dance there are no mistakes, only unexpected solos."

Alright, before we head to Springfield for the next 3 days to find our new home, here's a couple videos of their dance recital last night. For some reason our camera kept stopping at 1 minute...so it's just 1 minute of each of them. Sarah is the 3rd from the left. She's the cowgirl dancing to Happy Trails.

Morgan comes out in the 2nd group, then there is a girl in the front and Morgan is just slightly behind her to the side. She is the princess dancing a Valse from Sleeping Beauty.

Just 2 Weeks

Wow...I hardly know where to begin. Maybe because I don't even know how I feel. Relief, Joy, Grief, Tension, Fear, Overwhelmed. I did sleep until the alarm went off this morning, which is the first time in weeks I slept thru the night...yeah! Well 2 weeks from today (June 20th) we will be out of our current home. (We should have a signed contract by the end of the day, right now it's just verbal). So finally after months, actually years, of waiting for this time...it's here. We're really leaving. We are going to Springfield Sat, Sun & Monday...to find our new home. And then we'll be figuring out all the details. Morgan's birthday is June 19th and she is having the hardest time with this move, so I feel really bad about all this chaos surrounding her birthday. We leave on the 20th for Michigan. Mike has a class and we're all going. It's only 10 minutes from my sister and an hour from my parents, so that should be fun. So if all works out we'll be able to close on a house in Springfield on the 30th when we return to Missouri. But meanwhile, what do I do with the pet hamster? He might be taking a road trip! :)

I also must say how much I appreciate my husband. He is so calm and steady and reassuring. He said all the right things yesterday. I couldn't imagine anyone more wonderful than him to share life with and for that alone I feel so blessed!

The girls dance recital is tonight. That should be a fun diversion from all this chaos!

Deeper Thoughts

Even as I sit to write this, I'm not sure what I'm going to be writing about. I just have a lot of thoughts in my head that I need to sort out! :)

First, in my quiet time this week, I once again came across this prayer, which I love:

"Lord, Speak in my words today, think in my thoughts and work in my deeds. And seeing that it is your gracious will to make use of even such weak human instruments in the fulfillment of your mighty purpose for the world, let my life today be the channel thru which some little portion of your divine love and pity may reach the lives that are nearest my own." - John Baillie

People are often asking me about the move, if I'm excited about it. It's been a difficult question to answer. On the one hand, I truly believe that this is the right thing for our family. In the big picture, things will work themselves out, we will move on, we will live a great life. And this is a great opportunity for Mike and he's very excited about it. In some ways, I even feel like Esther in the bible who is being called "for such a time as this". And yet in the short-term immediate future, I am having trouble trusting. Almost every morning I wake up and pray "Lord, you know I want to trust you, but Lord you also know my doubts. As I come honestly before you, please help me find a way to trust you in the hear and now with our house selling and buying." And if I'm really honest, the reason I'm having trouble trusting was because 10 years ago I prayed for Justice at a trial...something to me that seemed like an obvious, easy request for God to grant. And yet at the trial, justice was not granted. My prayers were not answered. I have worked thru so many issues with the trial...grief, anger, grace, forgiveness,...and yet this issue of trust still lingers 10 years later! And while I believe one day I will ultimately understand and I can trust Him for long-term, as "His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts" and yet his heart for me is love, yet it still makes trusting for short-term things hard. Our house might not sell this summer. I might have to grieve that things are all neat and tidy and Sarah's Kindergarten year begins with uncertainty. And yet I know we'll get thru it, I know life will be great, one day we might even laugh about this time (although I find it doubtful at the moment). All I know to do right now is be honest before God and to fill my head with His truth. Here are some verses I'm leaning on.

"Cast all your cares on him 'cause he cares for you." 1 Pet 5:7
"So do not worry, saying "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "when will our house sell?". Your heavenly Father knows that you need them. Matt 6:31-2
"Trust in the Lord... lean not on your own understanding... acknowledge him... he will make your paths straight." Prov 3:5-6