Tuesday, August 6, 2013
It makes a tear slip out of the corner of my eye.
It whispers in my ear, attempting to convince me, "you aren't good enough."
It makes me text Mike, "Dumb is... dreaming dreams."
To which he responds, "Dumb is...not dreaming dreams." And so okay, maybe I agree with him.
You see this week I wanted to be celebrating. Celebrating having my story selected to be included in a crowd-published book releasing next week. Celebrating being chosen and hired back into social work profession, at a job that seemed perfectly designed for me.
And, it hurts. Even though I don't want it to have influence over me, it does.
I do believe God has put these dreams in my heart, for a reason.
I do believe that He has given me gifts, talents, abilities, passions and compassion, for today, and for tomorrow.
I believe He is writing the story of my life. And when I face rejection, I can trust, that even though I don't know what the future holds, I do know who holds the future.
It's my job to keep trusting. To persevere. To get up one more time and try again. To take a risk. To put myself out there. Even if it's hard.
Last week, laying awake in the middle of the night, asking God, "Is life going to get crazy? If I take a full-time job, will life just be insane?" and somewhere, caught between awake and asleep, I heard these words whispered into my soul, "Life is about to get even more beautiful." That is the voice I'm trusting through this rejection. This process of growing. This journey of living.
My life is quite beautiful already, so I'm excited to see what 'even more' awaits!
(I would also add to this list, Dr. Suess was rejected 27 times before having his writing published.)