Friday, January 23, 2015

Dear Sleep, I miss you!

Dear Sleep, Why have you left me? Where have you gone? I LOVE YOU and I really really wish you'd return to me.  I'm not too fond of my friend Mr. Insomnia.  Hey, I tell you what, it's the weekend, let's get reconnected! What do you say? You in?! Love, me

Seriously, it's been quite a week. Some long days and even longer sleepless nights.  But in the midst of it all, there is this...

Back when I was still bottle feeding Morgan, I still remember what one of the moms in my bible study shared - I don't remember her name, but I remember her words. They went something like this: when my kids get home, I try to take a little bit of the harshness and realities of the world away. I've also heard it said something like this: home should be a safe place to land.  And that is what I've tried to do within the four walls of our make it a home, a place where my girls feel safe, loved unconditionally, and want to be!

Well you know what I've discovered this week? That this home has been a safe place for me to land this week.  At the end of a very long day Wednesday - I dropped girls off at school at 7am and didn't return from work til 6pm - I came home to Mike having made me my Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (since we finally got some more wild rice after Duke decided to steal the last delivery of rice off the front porch and scatter it in the yard!) and Morgan had made her frosted brownies from scratch.

Then last night, I came home to dinner coming out of the oven again, followed by an evening filled with pure silliness and tons of laughter pouring through the rooms of our home. I mostly laid on the couch and did complete a few etsy orders (speaking of which - I got my DBA, tax ID and checking account set up finally this past week for my etsy store - since this has become more than just a hobby and the orders keep coming in! yay!)  I paused in my exhaustion and cherished that which is "home". 

Also, in the message last Sunday, we were challenged to ask others "what's it like on the other side of me?" You know, how do others really see me -- how do I make them feel?  I still want to ask a few friends who I know will be honest with me, but I asked Mike and the girls this week.

Mike informed me that he likes both sides of me! ;) (And I'll keep the rest of his insight private.)  

Morgan said that she likes how I  always look for the positive in things and how even though it's annoying, she likes how I don't let them rot their brain watching TV and make them do other things, and that I give them 'jobs' so that they will be responsible when they grow up! Even though she did say I was 'cheap' and not paying them enough for jobs around the house!  Umm, I confess, it's true.

Sarah said she likes how I care about other people, that I'm loving and she thinks I do a good job providing the right kind of discipline when they need it. (Mike says that means I'm too easy on them -- but we all know he's the softy!)

I don't know how I got these amazing kids, but I'm so glad to be their momma and share this journey with their amazing dad! 

I know they won't always see things so positively, being that we have several teenage years ahead, but for this week, I'll treasure their responses and use them as a confirmation that despite all the times I yell and feel like I screw up as a mom, and find myself crying because I don't know what to do, that maybe, just maybe, I'm doing something right!

And lastly, there are these two who melt my heart...

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