Quietness (and 'Otherness')

I love my family. Giggly girls. Flirting husband. Clanging dishes around the dinner table. Arguing sisters (which I'm certain is really love in disguise.) Neighborhood girls hanging out.

BUT tonight, spur of the moment, Mike decided to take the girls into town to shop for my Christmas present! And I think my heart smiled a little bit a whole bunch at that news, because that means I don't have to worry about a dinner I didn't have planned, AND I get an evening of quiet at my home sweet home!!! woohoo! So right now, Daisy is snuggled up next to me and all I hear are the clicks of my keyboard.  I know my soul is one that NEEDS quiet. It's where I find replenishment. YET, in this season of my life, it is something that I usually don't make a priority.  HMMM, I wonder why that is.  I might have to ponder this more and remedy it.

So a few things in my world lately...

• Being a substitute teacher in kindergarten LOTS, means I get lots of sweet pictures from kids.  Usually, I smile and thank them and compliment their work. I take their picture home and just toss them (I mean I can barely keep up with all my own girls work!) But I got one today that I think I will hang on my refrigerator for awhile. It says "I'm sorry for being goofy."  I've been in this class quite a bit this year.  You just know that this kid has a rough home life. I don't know all the details, but you see it in his eyes, feel it in his actions, experience it in responses. I just felt that I need to spend some time praying for him...and this picture will remind me to pause and do just that.  I wish all children had the opportunity to experience a childhood dreams are made of, but the reality is that many do not. 

• Last night, we had a very special dinner guest.  After years of Darian watching my kids for long weekends, I finally get to return the favor! What joy it was to have a little one hanging at our house last night! We all enjoyed our 'Henry time' and hope we can do it again real soon! (Pretty Please, Darian!)

• I have an amazing opportunity coming up!  Holley Gerth is an author of several books encouraging women (www.holleygerth.com). She has started a 'God-sized Dream Team' - and I'm on it! The FB group was set up this week. 100 women, pursuing dreams, together. Not just any dreams, God-sized dreams. The FB group has a coffee-shop, sit-around-and talk kinda feel - I've so enjoyed what I've read on there in just the past couple of days! There are some amazing women on there, who I am looking forward to getting to know better over the next several months! Accountability. Friendship. Authenticity. Oh, it's gonna be good. 

• I've been kinda quiet on my own blog lately because I've had some very time consuming articles I've written over at www.thegoodstuffguide.com -- several giveaways for fun Christmas presents -- check it out if you haven't yet! I wrote the stocking stuffer article and the tween gift guide.  They were fun articles to write, but time consuming!  More giveaways coming too! :) 

Simmering Dreams

Yesterday, during a break, I scribbled this on a piece of paper.  A LOT has happened in the past few weeks that makes me feel alive with possibility. God, loving me, reminding me that He placed this dream in my heart. This past month this simple verse keeps repeating in my head, "Be still. And know that I am God."

Sometimes dreams simmer a long time. You put them on the back burner. Let the sit. And simmer. And simmer some more. You know it's not an accident that this dream was started. And yet you wonder, has the chef forgotten? Did he change his mind? You want to believe that he's waiting for the perfect time. But time passes slowly. very slowly. simmering. 

And then one day, without you even realizing it, the heats been turned up. Way up. You swell with possibility. You bubble with hope. And you worry about the intensity of the heat. Will it be too much? You worry, will the chef change his mind again? Will he set you on the back burner again - or is this your time? The time for your dream to stop simmering, to begin cooking, to become something more -- the main dish perhaps -- for others to find nourishment from? That is after-all why you want this dream to stop simmering, why you want it to become more that just a dream -- so others can benefit from this dream. Only the chef sees the bigger picture. Your dreams are but a glimpse into the feast he has in store! 

Out of the Blue

So out of the blue, at bedtime tonight, Sarah says, "Mom, I'm glad you don't work all the time." Simple.Sweet.Honest.  And I'm reminded that any sacrifice I've made, and am making, financially, pales in comparison to the benefits it brings to our family.  There are some amazing moms who work full time, but she reminded me again tonight, that I made the choice to not work full time before I ever had kids and it's a choice I will always be thankful for! These years are flying by!

Here's the girls school pics from the past 6 years. Sarah, ages 4-9. Morgan, ages 6-11.

It's Unanimous!

So Mike walked out of the bathroom this morning and I rolled over and said, "I don't want to get up." He asked why and I said "Because I don't want to go say goodbye too you!"  So a couple minutes later I stumble out of bed (it is 6:10 on a Sunday morning!) and go wake Morgan up, and her first words are, "I don't want to get up!" So I ask her why and she says, "Because I don't want daddy to leave!"  So I do what any good mom does and promise her donuts if she gets up quickly and gets ready!  Then I wake up Sarah and she says, "I don't want to get up." So I ask her why and she responds, "I don't want daddy to go away!"   Again, I pull out my mom bribery and 15 minutes later we are on our way to get donuts and hot cocoa before dropping Mike off at the airport.  Unwillingly.  He's so good to us and we hope he has a great time at his training in Miami this week, but we are already counting down the hours til he's back home! 132 hours to go!

This morning, I couldn't help but think of my friend Lori, and her three kiddos, who will be saying goodbye to her husband and their daddy, as he's deployed at the end of December for a year. Our goodbye and parting seems so insignificant when I think of the sacrifice her family is making for the coming year.  Today I am thankful for all the veterans, and military wives  and military kids who make sacrifices all the time to give me the freedoms I enjoy here in the greatest country in the world! So thank you, veterans, and active military, on this Veteran's day, and everyday!

Influence (EEEK!)

So, as I've mentioned before, I have the privilege of writing for The Good Stuff Guide (GSG) (www.thegoodstuffguide.com) - and first, I just have to say,  if you don't follow the GSG via email, facebook, twitter, or in your RSS feed - you are missing out on some good stuff (ha! pun intended).

Well, Heidi, the brilliant mind behind the GSG, sent me the following stats yesterday.
According to alexa.com - we are ranked  as the 813,000 website read in the world, and 132,000 in the United States. Apparently this is really good! And exciting.

So, she went on to say, the website gets approximately 30,000 unique users a month, for a total of 1.5 to 2.0 million hits a month!! Yes, this is where I went EEEEK!!! Did you read that. Million.  What?! That's crazy! There are 3 of us writing for the GSG right now. That is a whole lot of people reading what I write!  Which on the one hand makes me ecstatically giddy with happiness; and on the other hands makes me gasp with the enormity of it.

For the past several years now, my desire to be a writer has been growing and growing.  Well, I guess if this many people are reading what I write, then maybe I am a writer. Oh, I still want to figure out a way to get paid for my writing, but for now I'm happy for the experience, the opportunity and exposure I have in writing for the Good Stuff Guide.

And because so many people read the GSG, we can now join this thing called HARO, which I'm quickly discovering is kinda a big thing in the publishing world. Major news like Fox, AP, Gannett, ABC, along with major magazines, use this resource to get ideas for articles and news stories.  In fact, today, I responded to one about marriage advice, and I heard back almost instantly from the writer of the article, thanking me for 'fantastic tips' and she said she'd let me know if she uses my ideas in a REDBOOK article! She may or may not, but just the possibility of being able to share my ideas/tips with such a large audience makes me smile.

And I'd be honest if I didn't say all this makes me slightly nervous! Words have such the potential to influence others - for good, for worse.  It is my continued to desire that the words I choose to share will strengthen families, encourage marriages, and inspire others on the journey!  And I'm glad the dreams God dreams for my life, surpass all my dreams!

My Introverted Self and My Writing

I am by nature, an introvert.  I'll admit, at times I wish I was more of an extrovert, but I'm not. Most of the time, I am very comfortable being an introvert.  Most of the time.

The gift of the internet, of blogging, of facebook, is that it has given me a platform from which I can share more of my heart, the reality of my life, and the depth of my soul, in a bigger way than I ever dreamed possible.  And in being able to open up, to share, I've discovered, many others appreciate what I have to share. My perspectives. My ideas. God has used me to make others smile. To encourage. To inspire. I'm humbled. I'm encouraged. And it makes me smile in return.

I  love writing. I love putting my thoughts, perspectives, feelings, struggles into the written word. It's something that I can get lost in. It's a gift, really, that God has given me. I have always loved to write. Always.  I have a scrapbook from elementary that I was glancing through a few months ago and found notes written by teachers talking positively about my writing.  I don't remember them saying that to me. But I'm glad they took the time to write it, and my mom saved it into a scrapbook for me.

If I'm being completely honest, I would love to write for a larger audience. I would love for God to take my words, to lead them to a publisher, to put them in a book, and encourage others with them.  But this is where my introverted self gets in the way.  I think, "If I was more outgoing, it would be easier to approach publishers/literary agents with confidence." That task sounds too scary, too overwhelming.  It's putting myself out there more. It also means facing rejection. It's the fear of failure. I've created an entire pinterest board called: Motivation to Follow My Dreams.  It has some great sayings on there. Beautiful words. However, there's one problem: It's not motivating me.

But you know what has motivated me?!  Friends.  I have some dear friends that keep my dream on my radar. Friends who write to me from time to time and ask how my writing is going. Who offer suggestions and inspiration for publishing opportunities. Sometimes I think they believe in me more than I believe in myself.  Their depth of caring about my dreams touches me deeply. (excuse me while I pause to wipe away a tear of gratitude.) And to each of you, who know exactly who you are, thank you. I am grateful for you!

Lastly, I have to give a shout out to Heidi. A classmate from High School, who I don't even remember having one conversation with back then. However, who after connecting with me on facebook, and reading my blog, trusted me enough to give me the opportunity to write for a larger audience on the The Good Stuff Guide! I LOVE having this outlet to write!

Perhaps one day I might get paid for all this writing I do. And maybe not. For now I will be faithful to the process itself. I will keep taking steps forward towards publishing. I like this quote.

I want to become an author whose words help strengthen families, encourage marriages and inspire others on their journey.  "Lord, if this is not the dream you have for my life, give me a new one. Amen."

Morning

I know those on the East Coast are waking up to the early arrival winds of Hurricane Sandy, but here, it was almost a magical morning.  I'm not sure if you'd call it twilight or dawn.

twilight. the light from the sky between full night and sunrise or between sunset and full night produced by diffusion of sunlight through the atmosphere and its dust

dawn. to begin to grow light as the sun rises

Calm. Peaceful. The setting moon - large, bright and mesmerizing, as I drove Morgan to school.  The brightening, beginning colors of daybreak, framed with the wisps of clouds, as I drove back home.

No pictures to capture it, but I paused to appreciate the way the moment spoke to my soul. Thank you, Lord!

A-Maze-ing Weekend

Our weekend captured in words...with a few pics thrown in too!

Sipping Apple Cider slushies. Driving through countryside. Then driving through Mark Twain National Forest. Being captivated by this glorious Fall.  It may be one of the prettiest falls we've had since moving to Missouri. Replenishing my soul with God's beautiful, ever changing, creation.



Hiking at Roaring River State Park, definitely the most beautiful place within an hour drive of us!  Climbing Trees. Silliness (monkeys in trees). Leaves crunching under our feet.

Sarah making up hiking games - who can find...biggest leaf, smallest leaf, longest leaf. Collecting the prettiest leaves we can find under the forest's canopy.

Picnicking along the river bank. Breathing in deeply fresh ozark air.






Spending Saturday morning helping paint rooms at Community Partnership. Love serving alongside other moms and daughters. Beautiful people giving up a Saturday morning to volunteer within our community,  invest in relationships with their daughters, and put compassion into action!

Mike finally got FOX to come thru our antenna - yay! - thus getting to finally watch the cardinals in the playoffs. This makes him happy.  (on the downside, now we've lost NBC. Got some more adjusting to do!)  Oh, and making three batches of Rolo's cookies and munching on them all weekend long.

Spending Sunday morning serving as a family at North Point Church.  I'm so thankful for the authentic, amazing people who lead, serve and attend at our church. Who are the hands and feet of Christ in our community.  I also love it when God speaks deeply into my soul some truths that it needs to hear.

Lastly, we went to a corn maze tonight with friends.  Kids running around, pretending to be 'lost'.  Then a hayride. Facepainting. Definitely fall fun. The only thing we still need to get is our pumpkins!

Oh and did I mention the entire weekend was sunny and in the 70s! You don't get a fall weekend more perfect than the one I just got to enjoy!

I love him!
and this beautiful life we share!

A Short Poem

I saw this posted on FB this morning, and it was too beautiful to forget. So I'm putting it here, to remember.

Do not judge a song by its duration
Nor by the number of its notes
Judge it by the way it touches and lifts the soul
Sometimes those unfinished are among the most beautiful…
And when something has enriched your life
And when its melody lingers on in your heart.
Is it unfinished?
Or is it endless?

~ Author unknown

Japanese Stroll Gardens

It's been quite cold since my parents arrived, but we enjoyed the sunshine today at the Japanese Stroll Gardens in Springfield. Such a peaceful, fun, tranquil, relaxing place!  I'm thankful both Mike and the girls had the day off too! Here are a few photos....

Then we rode our bikes for seven miles and filled up on Andy's Frozen Custard!