50!!!

50!! It’s just a number. And yet it holds possibility for all the numbers yet to follow.

It’s 2 digits. And yet it’s a reminder of this fleeting life.

It’s a new decade. And yet it’s the celebration of 5 beautiful decades already lived.

It’s just a birthday. And yet it’s a day to be grateful for all the ups and downs of this journey.

It’s 100/2. And yet it’s also a reality check to reevaluate if I’m living 100% of the life I want to.

It’s getting AARP mail. And yet it’s feeling like I have a whole lifetime to live still.

It’s 600 months. And yet, it’s also thinking of all the amazing people who have walked alongside me in these months.

 It’s the half-way pause to appreciate all I’ve accomplished. And yet a reminder for all the dreams I’ve had that I’ve never pursued.

It’s 2,609 weeks. And yet it’s wrinkles and gray hair looking back in the mirror of all the life lived in those weeks.

It’s the golden birthday celebration. And yet it also begins another trip around the sun.

It’s 18,262 days. And yet, who’s counting?

It’s a day I could feel old. And yet I remember, everyone has a chance to be young, but not everyone has a chance to grow old.  So here’s to growing old, for however many days I have left with breath in my lungs. I don’t know if that will be tomorrow or in several decades down the road. Meanwhile, I will live imperfectly. I will speak kindly to myself. I will continue to redefine success as experiences and opportunities, rather than as accomplishments. I will look at the world not broadly, but closely, and the circle around me I can engage with. I will seek to always choose kindness. I will say sorry when I’m not kind. I will do my best to always believe the best about people. I will remind myself that I can be the goodness in this world and seek out opportunities to do good. I will look for the positive. I will plant future bouquets. I will intentionally invest in relationships. I will love God. I will have adventures. I will drink in fresh air every chance I get on woodland paths. I will notice sunsets that give way to twilight, and raindrops that bring rainbows. I will live. Here’s to 50!