Stop Delaying

It's Tuesday...time to join my other dreamin' friends over at Holley Gerth's site for today's linkup. Today's topic: What I'm gonna stop delaying and start doing so I can be ready for what is ahead for me.


Even as I sit down now to write this, I'm not really sure what I'm going to say. I've been contemplating this all week long and nothing in particular has jumped out at me! Hmmm.

The thing I've been focusing on this month is becoming healthier - physically, emotionally, relationally  I think if I can stop delaying my 'health', then I will be in a better place to pursue my dreams and be ready for what is ahead.

Physically, I've been trying to add some exercise back into my life. In particular, some extra stretches for my arms and shoulders which have been causing me quite a bit of pain from stress and tension. Being at the computer adds to the tension. The tension leads to quite a bit of headaches.  I'm noticing improvement with daily stretching and exercising, so I'm trying to be faithful in this area.

Emotionally, I struggle with depression. I hate this. I look at my life and think, "there is nothing that should depress me." seriously. And yet, I've struggled off and on with it for years. So I finally broke down (okay, literally crying in the doctors office! geez.) and talked with the doctor about it. We are exploring options. I know my depressive state often keeps me from having the motivation to pursue my dreams. So I'm being brave and doing my best to figure out a way to 'deal with' and 'heal' from whatever is causing this.

Relationally, I don't want to pursue these dreams in isolation.  I've discussed it before in depth on my blog, but deep, in real life, friendship have been hard to develop since our move 4.5 years ago.  But I've decided I'm not giving up. I'm actually joining a bible study this week with some other amazing gals. I've never met them, but I'm hopeful that we will connect 'deeply' and develop some life-giving, life-sustaining friendships.  Several of my closest friends today are gals I met in similar settings. (just wish they didn't live hours away!)

Well after just helping my daughter for the past 3 hours finish up her timeline project on China's Dynasties, my brain is mush. (And what began with her throwing her pencil across the room, ended with a hug and apology - so perhaps I did something right tonight.)  I'm not even sure all this makes sense, but I'm calling it a wrap!

Silver Linings

They say behind every cloud is a silver lining.  And that's what I'm focusing on this morning from our 62 hour adventure to TX and back again.

The best part of our cancelled cruise...was seeing these beautiful people we call family...

Jarrod, Brittney, Chloe, Andrew, Aunt Jean, Uncle Danny, Tessie

The top picture is my Uncle Danny, Aunt Jean, and the Ring Boy and Flower Girl at our wedding in 1994.  I saw my uncle and Tessie in 2005 but I haven't seen my aunt nor Jarrod since this photo in 1994. Texas is a long way from Michigan.  And even pretty far from Missouri. And let me tell you...18.5 and 8.5 years is too long!!

Well, it just so happened my uncle had a hotel suite for work that had plenty of beds for us to hang out at for a couple of days while we reorganized and worked on plan B then plan C. How awesome was that?!

And then on Sarah's birthday, his whole family drove down to have dinner at the aquarium with us! (Bottom photo) What a special treat it was...the food, but mostly the company! It is a memory I will cherish in my heart for a long time! 

My uncle Danny always leaves me with great memories and spending time with him just makes me happy!

So our PLAN C?! (Quick History: Plan B was to head to San Antonio for the week to stay at the Hyatt with fabulous pools, Party it up at Sea world - swim with sea lions, take in the river walk -- well, pools were closed for repairs, sea world is only open weekends right now).  So Plan C - was to give Sarah the most memorable 10th birthday we could - then drive back home the next day - with a rebooked cruise for Spring Break in March! So how did we celebrate her day in Galveston?

It was cold, blustery, drizzly, windy day in the low 50s! BUT, she wanted to see the ocean.  So we went to the ocean and she took off her shoes and wandered along the shore - collecting seashells alongside her sister. We climbed rocks and tried not to get splashed by huge waves.

Then we went to take a dolphin tour boat ride -- we only saw one dolphin, and I told Sarah I was sorry about that, to which Sarah responded, "That's okay, at least I got to see my first real dolphin on my 10th birthday AND I get to still swim with them next month!" Love her positive outlook! But the tour guide gave us 2 great tips - dolphins like to swim in front of boats and the ferry is free.  So after a pizza lunch, we hoped on board the ferry (20 min ride ea way) and guess what - we saw several dolphins - a couple in front of ships - and a whole bunch were swimming near the dock as they unloaded and reloaded the ferry.

We finished the evening with her birthday dinner at the aquarium and her special dolphin cake (thanks, Darian!) at 10pm at night!  I think she felt cherished and will remember this as a special day - so I'd say, so far, Plan C, is a success - and we're thankful we have the cruise to still look forward to in just a few weeks! Here are a few pictures to remember our day...

My Smartphone and Me

Posting a day late, due to travel...oh well. It's another Tuesday to link up with Holley Gerth as we pursue God-sized Dreams! Today's topic - what do I need to say 'no' to in order to say 'yes' to my dreams?

This morning, I should be waking up somewhere in the middle of the ocean. I had been planning to be squeezing in all the fun my girls want to try and tackle! And eating more ice cream than any one person should in a day! But instead I'm driving 700 miles back home.  And you know one thing I was really looking forward to on that cruise? That my phone wouldn't work way out there on the ocean.  And that makes me step back and wonder.

Smartphones are an amazing invention. Truly. The world at my fingertips - along with my music, phone, calendar, camera, pictures, endless entertainment apps - it truly is amazing. But sometimes it's hard to put down. To walk away from. The truth is, it steals a lot of my joy.  A lot of my time.  (And, yes, this is hard to commit to words right now.)   So when Holley asked, "what do you need to give up or say 'no' to, so that you have more time for you God-sized dream?" - I knew instantly, even as I didn't want to admit it, that I need to say 'no' to being on my phone so often and 'yes' to so many other things in my life.  This has been out of balance and I need to change it.  I was hoping a week away from my phone would jumpstart my endeavors to change this bad habit I've fallen into, but I guess I'll just have to use my own willpower!  After all, I really want to say yes to so many other things!!

Here's two articles I've recently read that spoke on this same thing: "Is technology stealing our human moments?" and "How to Miss a Childhood".

Jumping Up to Double Digits: Celebrating Sarah!

Before our children were ever born, Mike and I decided that when they made the leap in birthdays from single digits to the double digits - we were going to celebrate big!  I mean, most likely, they won't live to be 100, so it's the only time in their lives that they will jump up a digit on their 10th birthday!

So, this means, they get to pick our family vacation! When Morgan turned 10, it meant a trip to the Grand Canyon. For Sarah, her choices were a bit more limited with a winter birthday, but the following options were considered...Disney World, Ski Vacation, Mall of America, a beach house and her ultimate decision...a cruise, so she could swim with dolphins!

So today, on her 10th birthday, we SHOULD be boarding our first ever cruise ship out of Galveston, TX that SHOULD stop in Progresso and Cozumel where we WOULD swim with dolphins on Valentine's Day (aka, my 39th birthday!).  Needless to say, we WERE so very excited!! BUT we can't control everything. And yesterday there was a fire on our cruise ship. And the trip has been cancelled by the cruise line. We are still trying to figure out the best way to make this sweet girl's dreams come true and trying to make the best of her birthday today! (And praying for 4,000 people stranded at sea until tug boat can pull them back to a Mexico port on Wed - 4 days, yikes! - then they all have to be flown back to USA still. Oh my! Thankful that is NOT us!)

She is flexible, easy going, and still smiling.  We love that about her! Today we celebrate Sarah and the joy she is in our lives! She reminds me to live in the moment and go with the flow. She's carefree and never uptight nor worried!  What a blessing she is to us!

Two Small Words

I saw this on a friends facebook page several weeks ago and I have been reflecting on it.  You see the truth is, I have more fears than I wish I had. Some of my fears I know where they come from. Others, I simply can not figure out.  And if I'm honest, I feel guilty for having a lot of these fears.  I mean where is my faith?! If I really had faith, I wouldn't have these fears, right?! Sigh.

I love the thought behind this 'BUT GOD'.  Here's how I've been trying to refocus my thoughts...

• I'm not sure my dreams will ever become reality...BUT GOD dreams bigger dreams for me than I even dream for myself. He has plans to give me a hope and a future. Jer 29:11
• I may fail...BUT GOD uses me still. 
• I see the present moment...BUT GOD sees every day yet to come. 
• I worry about the future...BUT GOD says, "Trust me, my Child, I got you." 
• I sometimes let fear overwhelm me...BUT GOD loves me still. 

And then there's these two words.  BE STILL.  I whisper these two words to my heart often.  Be still. Remember who is in control.  Be Still.  Remember who loves you immensely.  Be Still. Remember who loves your family even more than you do.  Be Still. Remember who holds the future in His hands. Be still.  

So you see, these are the words I've come to claim over my fears.  Be Still. and But God.  Because my reality is often filled with fear, but I can chose to live and believe in a truth that is even greater than these fears. And as I continue to claim these truths against my fears, it is my hopes that they will continue to diminish over time.  

And yes it's Tuesday again, and I'm linking up with other God-sized Dreamers over at Holley Gerth's site...and there you can find other encouragement from others who are facing their fears! 

Flippity Floppity

The girls are 19 months apart.  Morgan is 11 and a half (yes, the half is important!) - and Sarah will be 10 in a couple of weeks!  Looking back, I'm not even sure how we made it through those early years of parenting.  To say we were busy is an understatement!!  But there have been so many blessings having our girls so close together, I couldn't imagine it any other way now.  

Here's just one little way I love them being so close together:  They got some gift cards from their aunt and uncle and they had this idea to each buy a pair of flip flops and then swap just one of them -- so they could have matching mis-matched pairs! Aren't they cute?! I LOVE THIS! I love that they are so close together that they can share fun little things like this! 

And it's kinda hard to 'sea' their toes...but we are getting them ocean-ready! Sparkles (oh, and I had to add more sparkles 'cuz my daughter who was born with glitter in her veins didn't think one coat of sparkles was enough!) and polka-dots and stripes! Impulsive Purple and Optimistic Pink...good colors for the sunshine that will soon be kissing those toes!

Flashback. Summer 2000.

Flashback. Summer 2000. Feels like a lifetime ago. 

No kids. 

Working full time during the week -- still believing that as a social worker, I could at least make a dent in people's lives. 

Spending every weekend breaking in our new boat, lost in another world on the lake.  

My husband grew up on a lake. He already knew how to ski.  

Me, on the other hand, did not have a clue! So I spent weekend after weekend attempting what felt like an impossible task. I would wear myself out trying to let that boat pull me out of the water so I could glide across the water on skis.  But nope. 

Weekend after weekend, my attempts were met with disaster. Drinking half the lake, body twisted in ways it was never meant to twist.  I'd leave the lake exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed.  Another weekend of still not being able to get up on skis.  

Then finally, at the end of the summer, the boat finally pulled me up! As you can see from the picture, after getting up, I immediately let go of the rope and spread my arms out in victory...as I yelled "I did it!" 

 And he brought the boat back around and I did it again. and again.  

We've had 13 summers with our boat and I've skied every summer since! I've even mastered being able to go in and out of the wake.  I'm certainly no pro, but I'm thankful for that determination I had one summer, because I've enjoyed the sweet benefits of all that hard work for many years since.  

I've been thinking about that summer a lot this past week, because I'm kinda discouraged in my current dreams in which it feels like I'm attempting the impossible. And I'm wondering if they ever will really happen.  But when I think back to that summer learning to ski, I'm reminded that...

• It didn't happen right away. It took persistence  Weekend after weekend.  I had to keep working towards the dream.  I had to set time aside to work on it. 

• And when I did take the time, I had to block out the rest of the world and focus on the dream. 

• I had to rest in between disappointment and frustration, in order to be re-energized to keep going for it. 

• And my biggest encourager (my husband!), who never stopped believing I could do it...is still by me today, encouraging me to go for it! I love sharing life with him! 

Again, it's Tuesday, and I'm linking up with Holley Gerth about dreaming God-Sized Dreams! 

Practicing Gratitude (even in sickness)

 

 It's easy for me to be thankful on the good days. (i.e., on most days.)  But this past week was a rough one with both Mike and Morgan missing an entire week of work and school with fevers and whatnot.  But I tried to be practice gratitude in the midst of it...here's some of this gratitude...

• Thankful for good HEALTH INSURANCE that meant that at any moment we could have gone to the doctor, urgent care or even the hospital, if necessary.
• We have ABUNDANCE enough to be able to purchase as much over the counter meds, powerade, kleenex and special snacks as we want. 
• Mikes gazillion sick days he's accrued in 16.5 years of employment. 
• For TECHNOLOGY that lets him catch up on a few hours of paperwork on Friday, from home, when he's 80% better and staying home with Morgan.
• For the comforts of OUR HOME -- extra blankets, heat, cold packs, couches, extra bedrooms. 
• And for looong HOT SHOWERS. 
• Being appreciated by family (I think Morgan's exact words to Mike were "Mom is awesome!")
• Knowing they'd willing, and without complaint, take care of me if I was the sick one.
• An online chat with a good friend, texting my sister, and texts from a new friend -- others to share this journey with. 
• Lysol, hot water, anti-bacterial soap, disinfectant. 
• PERSPECTIVE.  Our week of sickness pales in comparison to the countless parents sitting by their child's bedsides at the hospital -- week after week, praying for a miracle. I prayed for those parents this week. 
• The power and beauty of HOPE. This won't last forever. 

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

I saw this on a friend's FB page today, and it made me smile. So I read it to the girls at bedtime tonight.  It's fun they are at an age where they get the humor of this.  So for every mom (or teacher) who's ever read, "If you Give a Moose a Muffin," here you go....

Love Laura Numeroff/Felica Bond books!! Great author/illustrator duo!

Sharing the God-Sized Dream Journey

So, this past week, we were suppose to ask a friend to be a God-sized Dream buddy.  Well, being a part of Holley's God-Sized Dream Team, she had a match-up of sorts to find new buddies.  And I'm very excited about this!! So now I have two new online friendships...sharing the journey with others! Love it!

And they are absolutely beautiful people...inside and out...just check out their blogs and you'll see what I mean!

This is Lisa, she writes over at Life After the Shore.
I'm excited to watch her family grow because
she has big God-sized dreams of being able to adopt!
(and I already admire her faith living out luke 5:11!) 

This is Mel, and she writes over at Barefoot Mel.
And I can't wait to read the book she's writing...a collection of stories
about the 5 years she spent in Indonesia!
(and her writing just makes me want to read more!) 

I love the way the internet has the ability to connect souls! To meet other people who are truly amazing!

And while I didn't personally ask any of my already amazing friends to be my buddy too...it's because I already have several who consistently encourage me towards my dream...and I love them for that! (You know who you are -- so THANK YOU!!)

So, who is encouraging you in your dreams?
If you need someone, I'd love to be that someone! :)